The Fog

“Chemo Brain” is real. More real than I thought.

Ever been mid-sentence and forgot where you were going with it?

Pick up your phone and forget why?

Someone asks you a simple question and you just stare at them because you haven’t processed their words?

These things have all been happening to me. Chemo coming on the heels of pregnancy—my poor brain was doomed.

It’s embarrassing, even if friends & loved ones understand what’s behind it.

It’s worse when it’s a stranger, who has no clue why I’m staring for an extra second or two…it probably makes them uncomfortable.

My first day back to work after maternity leave brought on new insecurities. Would I be able to articulate answers to patients’ questions? Would I babble while talking to their parents on the phone? Can I mask my mental fog…can I make myself sound competent?

I’ve always considered myself intelligent with a fairly strong vocabulary.

So when words fail me…when I can taste the syllables, but can’t spit them out…it’s yet another blow dealt by the cancer.

Is it temporary? Will some measure of this fog last long into the future?

I’ll have to report back…stay tuned.