Breathless

It’s a short walk from the Nurse’s Station to the med room, so why do I need to catch my breath?

I just hopped up from my chair to get medicine for a patient, so why am I dizzy?

I know I still have some “baby-weight” to drop, but this is just ridiculous…I can’t be THAT out of shape!

I check my blood pressure, and it’s normal. My O2 saturation is at 99%. No fever. I had chemo 10 days ago, and this is all new. I’ll hydrate, and call the triage nurse.

I’m encouraged to push fluids, keep an eye on blood pressure, and to call back if it gets worse.

No matter how much water I drink, nothing is changing. My walk to Starbucks—for a break and caffeine kick—takes my breath away.

Fast-Forward to the end of my shift…

The walk out to my car seems longer than usual…maybe because I can’t walk faster than a snail right now. I’m literally fighting for air.

Something is wrong. Please, just let me get home safely, and I’ll consider next steps.

Upon walking in the house, my husband and mother-in-law can see that something is off. My face is red, I’m sweaty, and still out of breath. A call placed to my mom for access to her nursing expertise confirms what I suspected…I should probably go to the ER. What if this is COVID?

I’m crying on the way…if I’ve contracted COVID while being immunocompromised, will I be okay? Will I recover? Will I end up on a vent?

Upon checking in with a visit reason of “SOB” (shortness of breath), they move quickly to get an EKG done. Ah, my heart…I hadn’t considered that it could be the culprit. Perhaps the Red Devil has done damage.

Initial labs rule out a heart attack—thank heavens. “Our other initial thought is a possible pulmonary embolism.” Oh shit…can we go back to the heart attack instead?

Remaining labs come back…I’m pancytopenic. Probably a cumulative effect of my chemotherapy regimen. I’m typed-and-crossed in the event my oncologist approves of me receiving blood…turns out she does.

Wait, hold on. A blood transfusion? This escalated quickly. I guess it’s something I can scratch off the proverbial bucket list. I’ve also won myself at least 1 night’s stay in the hospital.

I’m scared. I know people sometimes have bad reactions to donor blood, not to mention other risks.

It’s time…the ER nurse hooks up the lines, takes vitals, starts a timer, and we’re off. Very quickly I feel like a vampire.

I don’t feel any different after the crucial first 15 minutes, but I’m told my color already looks better. Yikes, I’m glad I didn’t catch myself in any mirrors.

Mere hours later, into the morning…

I feel better. Not great, and definitely nowhere near 100%…but better. Labs are drawn again to see where my numbers are, and I’m crossing my fingers I can go home today.

Labs come back, showing increased numbers! I’m cleared by the hospitalist and oncology to get outta Dodge!