Cumulative

Cumulative exams are the bane of students’ existence. Who can remember all the information taught over an entire semester well enough to pass a single test? It’s insanity.

So you study. Make notecards. Find practice questions. Read chapter summaries. Quiz your friends.

And finally, you’re ready.

Chemo doesn’t make for good notecards. It doesn’t allow for prep. There’s no way to tell how that last dose will hit you, because all the prior ones have to catch up. I wish I could go back and give myself a cheat sheet…

Hair falling out? That’s just the start.

Nausea? Find a bathroom fast.

Metallic taste during infusion? Just wait until every sip of water is affected.

Extra energy from the steroid? That’s false security—eventually the toxic drugs overtake the opposing team.

Achy bones? Don’t worry, the joints will accompany them soon.

Pain medication tempering the pain? Look up the term ‘increased tolerance.’

Stiff getting out of bed? Every step will become crippling.

But wait—at least I don’t have to shave your armpits—oh wait…why are they turning dark brown?

Now my elbows look dirty too.

Mouth sores? Awesome.

Sensitive gums? Cool, I always wanted to become a vampire & taste blood frequently.

Dizziness & extreme shortness of breath? Please reference the previous entry.

The key to passing this brutal exam? Adopt the following mantra…

It’s only temporary…it’s only temporary…it’s only temporary…